Tips for parents with babies
Don't limit your sexual escapades to the bedroom
"Before the baby, we stuck to the regular old in-the-bed routine," says Kristine Kalish of Denver, Colorado. "Now we do it in the car, on the couch while the baby naps, in my office, or just anywhere we can." Besides, having sex in unusual places heightens the thrill for some people, so it may actually improve your sex life.
Redefine sex
All roads don't have to lead to intercourse. There are lots of ways to have fun if you don't have time for a full-blown lovemaking session. Stoke the fires by making out for a few minutes before dinner, or cop a feel when he passes you on the way to change the baby's diaper. If your partner is willing but too tired to seal the deal, pleasure yourself while he or she watches. "My wife's presence makes it more exciting for me, and sometimes she gets excited enough to participate,
Take advantage of naptime
When the baby goes down for a nap on weekends, it's time for you two to get down, too. Of course, if you're sorely sleep deprived, rest up. But it's important not to use all your quiet moments to catch up on chores. The laundry and dishes can wait while you make time for each other.
Talk your way into sex
When your baby's asleep, uncork a bottle of wine, dim the lights, and indulge in good old-fashioned conversation. "Sometimes Rich and I stay up talking about the days before we had Alex," says Dawn Ham-Kucharski of Canton, Michigan. "It reminds us that we had a life as a couple before parenthood. Before we know it, we're having sex."
Hire a sitter and get out of the house
We're not promising you'll get any action if you ask your partner out on a date, but it's a start. Plan something romantic like dinner for two at a fancy restaurant or, if cost is an issue, park at a spot with a view and have a picnic. One couple, who asked to remain anonymous, found a new use for their minivan. It seems that if you put down all those seats in back, you'll have a wide, comfortable spot for adult fun.
Don't wait for privacy if you don't have to
If you wait for a time when the baby will be out of the house or even in another room, you could be in for a long dry spell. New parents learn pretty quickly that you have to grab your chances when you can, even if the baby is nearby! In a BabyCenter sex survey of 20,000 parents, nearly 60 percent said they had sex with the baby in the room.
Turn up the heat and seduce each other
Getting in the mood can be difficult for harried new parents. It's hard to switch gears from Mom and Dad to lovers. To warm his engine, call him at work and talk dirty for a few minutes, or write him an e-mail detailing all the things you'd like to do to him. It'll titillate him and keep you in his thoughts all day. Or give him time to go for a bike ride or shoot some hoops — He'll be relaxed and rejuvenated for you! You can also come to bed naked or initiate sex — dads' top two favorite teasers, according to our recent sex survey.
Dad, you can seduce your honey by reading her a love poem out loud, washing her hair, or taking the kids out so she can relax and pamper herself. Remember, foreplay isn't just something you do right before sex; it can happen all day. But then again, real foreplay works too. Nearly 60 percent of the women in our sex survey said nothing beats touching, hugging, stroking, and kissing to get them in the mood.
And if at first you don't succeed, ask directly
If you're starting to feel edgy because you haven't been intimate with your partner for a while, tell him or her. Avoid guilt-inducing statements such as "You must not be attracted to me anymore" — they just sound defensive. Instead, tell your sweetie you miss kissing, touching, rubbing up against each other. Who could resist that?
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